O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
pray to the hookup gods
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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