I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
