even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
