Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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