i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Someone came in the potted fern
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
