my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
