I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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