apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
