Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize