oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
