I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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