How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
