what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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