I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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