I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
