I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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