How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize