nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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