That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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