Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This couple is walking their pig around campus
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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