There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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