Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
it was like his penis was on wheels.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
