I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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