I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize