Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
