I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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