I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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