Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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