Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
