real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize