She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
