Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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