operation have a gay friend backfired
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
