Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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