no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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