Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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