If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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