we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
