I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
