I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
