Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
