I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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