dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
