so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
