she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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