What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
