Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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