i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
