yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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