i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
