Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
