he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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