I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize