I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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