Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Randomize
