I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
