This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
