bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
we're so committed to being not committed
Your penis caused this!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
