I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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