The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
