i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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