Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
