i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
