I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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