I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
